The process started with a trip to Wegman's, where I bought the various items required. Notice the purchase of a meat thermometer - the lengths I go to for my public are without measure! Also, the manual you see there was in the crock pot, which should give you some indication of how frequently said crockpot gets used.
I hit the first problem fairly early in the process.
I enlisted the help of various assistants to solve the spatial relations problem. Yes, that's my husband there,employing the classic knife safety method of "always cut towards yourself with a 9" chef's knife". Buddy, the small, emergency backup dog, looks on hopefully.
Bianca looked on from a distance. Notice how I mock her constantly for being stupid, but she is the one smart enough to move away from the knife. Whereas Buddy would have put his nose directly under it if he thought he could reach.
"The meat smells intriguing, but I will stay away from the knife."
"OMG what is that? Is it a giant slab of pork fat? I WANT IT PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET IT IT SMELLS LIKE HEAVEN WRAPPED IN BACON HERE I'LL PUT MY NOSE UNDER YOUR KNIFE JUST IN CASE THAT WILL CONVINCE YOU I WANT IT"
"You're going to just throw that away? THIS.ISN'T.HAPPENING!"
To the despair of my canine helpers, a large quantity of fat was removed so the pork shoulder would fit. I hope you all appreciate the efforts I took to ensure the healthiness of this pork.
Having conquered a Serious Physics Issue, I was ready to cook. The complex recipe I selected had 3 steps, assuming you very generously interpret the concept of "step", which I do, since I am both lazy and unskilled.
Step 1 : Put some Dinosaur BBQ sauce in the bottom of the crock pot. I totally nailed this step.
Step 2: Put the pork shoulder in the crock pot.
Sadly, no picture available of this vital step.
Step 3: Dump the rest of the Dinosaur BBQ sauce in the crock pot, turn on low, walk away for 10 hours.
More proof of meat cooking on my kitchen island as we speak.
The pork adventure WILL be blogged as it happens!
The first problem wasn't one of "spatial relations" it was not knowing that one ought to UNWRAP the meat prior to inserting it into the crockpot. My guess is that this instruction was shamefully omitted from recipe.
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