Finished!

A quick photo montage of the Great Pulled Pork Experiment

The final temp


My helpers








Ready to shred!


This was a complete waste of time, and resulted in pork grease on pretty much every available surface of my kitchen


Ta-Da!


In conclusion, this was expensive, messy, time-consuming, and the results are probably average at best. I think we've all learned a lesson here.

*Update from the New York Times*!

The Grey Lady has come to the rescue! The USDA lowered the safe temperature for pork down to 145 degrees.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/25/dining/porks-safe-cooking-temperature-is-lowered.html

THE other pink meat?

That could be pork’s new slogan after the United States Department of Agriculture on Tuesday said it was lowering its safe cooking temperature to 145 degrees, from the longtime standard of 160. The new recommendation is in line with what many cookbook authors and chefs have been saying for years

.

Crunch Time

Well, it's 9:30 and we are still slightly under the recommended temperature. Good thing *I* am not eating this stuff.

Quiksolver

You are probably wondering - "Beth, when you were deciding whether to make the pork or buy it, why didn't you employ the "Quiksolver" process?"

Well, I am glad you (the nameless, faceless You) asked, because I have an answer. I used what I have patented as the "Super Qwik Solver" process (tm). This is a very valuable, trademarked, and super secret process - But, since we are such close personal friends, I will share the magic of "SQS" with you.

First, you need an Official SQSP(tm) Methodology Unit. You may purchase one at the SQSP Official Lean Six Sigma Store for the low low price of $200. Bulk orders welcome. A picture of the SQSP(tm) Methodology Unit - FOR REFERENCE ONLY - is here.

SQSP(tm)MU - Front


SQSP(tm)MU - Back


To deploy SQS using the SQSMU, you first DEFINE THE QUESTION ("Should I make pulled pork, or buy it?")

Then, you ask the question aloud, using the SQSMU Flippinator Device (sold separately) to ensure that the SQSMU gets the appropriate amount of spin. Whilst the SQSMU is "spinning", you call "heads" or "tails" - indicating the side of the SQSMU you wish to prevail.

If the SQSMU lands on the side you called, you follow the first path. If the SQSMU lands on the obverse side, you follow the SECOND path.

I will be selling SQSMUs at the Early Adopter Discount Value Rate of $10 during the CFSD Year End Review.

Sandee said making this was cheaper...

...which just goes to prove that Sandee is bad at math. Between the price of the pork, plus the Dinosaur sauce, it costs MORE to MAKE pulled pork than to buy a cheap pre-made alternative.

Pork Shoulder : $10.45
2 bottles of Dinosaur - $7.38
-- 8 to 10 hours of my life spent monitoring meat I won't eat
-----------
$17.83

"Club Pack Pulled Pork" - which I could have reheated in 4 min in a microwave
---------------
$13.25

This doesn't even include the expenses of meat thermometers or fat separators, that I purchased because I care about YOUR health. Nor has anyone factored in the value of my time, which is clearly priceless, since I have enough to make silly blogs about cooking pig meat.

In conclusion - Sandee is not your go-to person for finances.

10.45. 10.45?! I spent $11 on a hunk of raw dead pig?!

Pulled Pork!

To prove that I really did make the pulled pork, I felt the need to record my efforts.

The process started with a trip to Wegman's, where I bought the various items required. Notice the purchase of a meat thermometer - the lengths I go to for my public are without measure! Also, the manual you see there was in the crock pot, which should give you some indication of how frequently said crockpot gets used.



I hit the first problem fairly early in the process.



I enlisted the help of various assistants to solve the spatial relations problem. Yes, that's my husband there,employing the classic knife safety method of "always cut towards yourself with a 9" chef's knife". Buddy, the small, emergency backup dog, looks on hopefully.



Bianca looked on from a distance. Notice how I mock her constantly for being stupid, but she is the one smart enough to move away from the knife. Whereas Buddy would have put his nose directly under it if he thought he could reach.

"The meat smells intriguing, but I will stay away from the knife."


"OMG what is that? Is it a giant slab of pork fat? I WANT IT PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET IT IT SMELLS LIKE HEAVEN WRAPPED IN BACON HERE I'LL PUT MY NOSE UNDER YOUR KNIFE JUST IN CASE THAT WILL CONVINCE YOU I WANT IT"



"You're going to just throw that away? THIS.ISN'T.HAPPENING!"


To the despair of my canine helpers, a large quantity of fat was removed so the pork shoulder would fit. I hope you all appreciate the efforts I took to ensure the healthiness of this pork.



Having conquered a Serious Physics Issue, I was ready to cook. The complex recipe I selected had 3 steps, assuming you very generously interpret the concept of "step", which I do, since I am both lazy and unskilled.

Step 1 : Put some Dinosaur BBQ sauce in the bottom of the crock pot. I totally nailed this step.


Step 2: Put the pork shoulder in the crock pot.
Sadly, no picture available of this vital step.

Step 3: Dump the rest of the Dinosaur BBQ sauce in the crock pot, turn on low, walk away for 10 hours.



More proof of meat cooking on my kitchen island as we speak.



The pork adventure WILL be blogged as it happens!